take the power back

ghoose is smiling while pondering these lines,"The curriculum.... put my fist in 'em.... Eurocentric every last one of 'em but In the right light, study becomes insight, soon to realize the lies in 'em"

.....when Majnun seeks Laila....

feel it
as it fades away
7 colors scattered from 1
1 color dream up in heaven
sending countless angels that showers the longing masses
as the drums beats louder sending ripples across the universe
the twilight surrenders to divine love
cool mad rush of light suffused the lovers cheeks with
colours what once was a pale ocean of tears
dream up smiles for the one that sees
upon seeing the smiles... others recovers from pain
in that instant.... heaven is obtained
for that nano second
heaven sets upon the hearts that wants to feel...
live forever a thousand moons over within a night of consummated love
dont wanna feel these pain nomore
heaven and everything after
i'm after everything..... for evrything is Laila.........

Bhinneka Tunggal Ika

Tempe land
in pieces yet one....
written on the scroll gripped by the Garuda
that bapak bapak ibu ibu humble smile hides
the blood sweat & tears runs deep in yor soil
the Srivijaya then to the Gajah Mada, Majapahit's golden age stretched. .. to be
paused by Sunans sweeping across the land spreading message of the One

oh Tempe Land
molested by Portuguese traders,then rape by the British followed by the Dutch in a wild orgy
plundering the richness in broad daylight
how bapak bapak & ibu ibu suffer under colonial mights
it takes another tyrant t end the other
hence came the Japanese......till the Empire drop the Lil Boy on Hiroshima

oh Tempe Land
united pushed Sukarno fronted an armed n diplomatic struggle for independence
the fighting spirit of the fermented soya bean strive on
the freedom led to another dimension which the people never tasted before
soon punched drunk soak in the abundant wealth

oh tempe land
... ever so evolving
rich diversified arts, culture & religion
the bustling metropolitan, pack buses & the Angkut loud melodious cries," kiri! kiri!"
the aroma of ya rich spice food tickle the fancies...
but the ever dynamic improving changes hides the layers of cracks on ya walls...

oh Tempe land
Khairil cried "i wanna live another thousand years"
maybe thats the time it takes for art political tool to unclogged gutters in the ivory towers
the same time to build flood proofed drainage system
same time to pay the billions loaned
same time to attend to the needs of ya poor bapak bapak ,ibu ibu & bocha bocha

oh Tempe land
blood ties Yussof Martawi & Mytha Noor Muradi to ya shores
descendants roam... forever dreaming of Banyumas time & again the love requite
feel like embracing u again
get lost in the masses of human waves
moving to the words of iwan fals...

.....the hearts may seems to be broken in pieces
but we are still one......

selamat merdeka indonesia!

the above inspired by " Jakarta" by Siddiq Noormuhammad 1979

heading the radio waves soon.....

serene.... ambient....haunting voice......will we ever learn.....as Patch himself said
"Irrespective of the uniforms we wore, we were all victims".

if remembering are for those who can afford multi million dollars Holocaust
movie reenactments then what about millions of asians who lost their lives by just being in a way of an advancing empire........

Harry Patch (In Memory Of)

"i am the only one that got through
the others died where ever they fell
it was an ambush
they came up from all sides
give your leaders each a gun and then let them fight it out themselves
i've seen devils coming up from the ground
i've seen hell upon this earth
the next will be chemical but they will never learn"
-radioheads lyrics from http://www.radiohead.com/deadairspace/

revisiting.... 1 TO 7...7 TO 1

seen it in a day
as it fades away
7 colors scattered from 1
1 color dream up in heaven
dream up smiles for the one that sees
upon seeing the smiles... others recovers from pain
in that instant.... heaven is obtained
for that milli seconds
heaven sets upon the hearts that wants to feel...
i wanna live forever
i dont wanna feel these pain anymore
heaven and everything after
i'm after everything...

Both Sides Now....

as we get older r we any wiser
does wisdom recognizes age
as sages grows in ancient soil
grayish green leaves of cleansing properties

granpa Manaf bids farewell to 2nd daughter Masnia
at 88 saying long goodbyes n short kisses for funeral rites
what once a butte of a man reduced to empty longing stares
the body that once toiled untold fables of majapahit & boyanese fused with bugis might
now needs an alum walking stick to wield in his defense against gravity

look at that majestic Tembusu
roots deep n wide bark as thick as it is rough
survived lightning strikes yet still a sight for wedding photos
now with metal protection as its crutch
it sways from side to side to n fro
only the winds knows the history as it caresses the leaves
n bring it up to the heavens above.....
-ghoose

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons ev'rywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on ev'ryone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As ev'ry fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living ev'ry day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all
I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

lack of sleep....

my perception


-----___________----------- yOr perception____________


clAshing......

--------------------------------------------------------------- a division


within

& between

-------------------------------------------------------------separated

one shud lose
missing frm the world

what once were two

_________________________are no longer numbered......

the return to nothingness....

two hundred forty odd
minus 40 plus even
whats left are less then 200
nervous workhorse waitin to be shot down
....these numbers add them to the nations n multiply it by the probable global hunger to sustain greed equals unprecedented mass unemployment......

the background music of Marley's wailing
"Dont worry bout a thing coz evry lil thing
is gonna be alrite" seeping tru my altec lansing cube
masked the awkwardness brewing in the air cocktails
strong mixture of worlds economic turmoil

realize this retrenching tired times
peoples weary worrisome bout the future
not in their hands... the donnie darko theory of whos to save
myself or friends ... whatever the outcome someone bound to get hurt

but change is inevitable
the outlook forecast is bleak Harry says it so it must be true
its there on Channel News Asia & headlinin Today
"we will come out stronger faster then any developed nation"

as i sipped my camomile honey & vanilla tea
listening to all the dancing crap that is swirling on the goggle box
as all the banks n the financial follies wraps in their dirty orgies
recycling money made up of broken trees lost in the free trade of credit lawlessness

my hearts skips a beat..... i heard a whisper....
....all this pain is a reminder
.... return to nothing
for nothing is loss..........


then it rain...........

"A" revisited

hav a voice but cud not speak
if i shud talk i'll be ignored
if i cud hear , i wud not heed
when i touch, i cud not feel

then i hear the angels calling me

the river flows to salt-en sea
if it runs dry it is not free
we all alone you & me
parched desert hearts that needs to feel.....

then i hear the angel calling me

so the river flows toward the sea
dive into the ocean, where all sets free
then theres the rain , you in me
for all have eyes but who will see

when i hear the angels calling me


- 1st stanza Ahmad Khairuddin
- the rest dream up by ghoose
- virgin ivy
- somewhere in the middle of 1990

Seasonal affective disorder...in short SAD

one of the treatment is vitamin D
or waht we know simply as sunlight.....

since we hv sun all year round theres no reason to be sad do we...



wear your eyes as dark as night
Paint your face with what you like
Wear your love like it is made of hate
Born to destroy and born to create

Now baby, what've you done to your hair?
Is it just the same time of year
When you think that you don't really care?
Now baby, what have you done?
Done to your hair, done to your hair,
done to your hair, done to your hair, hair!

So when you hear this autumn song
Clear your heads and get ready to run
So when you hear this autumn song
Remember the best times are yet to come

avenues ...... of our mind.....

recent meet up triggers memories
it was 19 years ago when 5 young foolish kids decided to form a rok & rol ban ......
please click on the right side of ya grey area to hear the song..... ;)


Avenue......

See u walking down the avenue
Sure thing pretty lights frizzy views
indelicate tots floating thru ya mind
faces on the walls gyrating lullabies

u seem high
u scream higher
u dream high
wanna take it high er

but it STOP.

The voices frm within are breakin thru
the body calm begin are burnin blu
the needle chill , sad happy tots
the flamin flowers like scorching hearts

you scream high
you spin higher
you float in high
wanna take it high er

but it STOPped.

1990 sole copywrite
song-virgin ivy
lyrics-angelghooseman



Band - Virgin Ivy (1990-1996)
alt lead/rhythm guitar- jeffry yahya aka jenggo jeff,
alt lead/rhythm guitar-ahmad khairuddin aka odie,
vox- azhar aka angelghooseman,
percussion-mohd hafiz aka coconut boy,
bass- razli aka glorified G

1700km drive over 4 days

just completed a 1700km drive
tru 8 States of peninsular malaysia
with the most spectacular scenery
manja n I hv ever seen

4 days of unplanned pleasure
& its priceless
need photo?
just imagine..........


(even did the Gerik East-West Highway wooohooo.... google it)

a dirt's plea.......

In the Name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.......

refuse reading the papers
as it flashes blood upon blood of yesterdays dead...
self blinded n bound from watching the news
as they howl bout the innocent death toll rising
of how noone under the star of David heed the call of the cease fire

stay silent
stay still
as the body trembles trying to contain grieves......
this vessel can only take so much
and so it gives way to tears....

i hv nowhere to plea .....no court on earth will hear me

so i state my case to You
o King of Kings
though my body was spared by the Zionist bullets
my heart bleeds still for your creations
waves are sweeping across the land
hearts are weeping for the losses....
the dyings done

im pleading for the ones that plotting the killing
the childrens of those that Moses led across the Red Sea
the same that was banished from the promised land
im pleading for the hearts that wants Al Aqsa
for they want it not in the name of You............

the One who holds Abu Qassims soul so dearly
will have mercy on the souls of those who kills the innocent
oh i ask not to for punishment or retribution
i ask what your Beloved wud asked for....
for all of us ... in knowing or not are his followers

He ask for your Mercy.......
He cry for your Love.....
Oh Lord of all creation ....the One that knows the end to come
Spare us from this pain
please change the hatred & greed of our fellow Jewish men
into the one full of Love
make this journey easier with The Light of Your Love
so we can peacefully worship You
the One that truly holds the right to be worshiped
and make our safe passage home.....

i'm but a dirt
i am nowhere near
i know where i stand
i am cruel to myself time & again
i forget
the 'I' can never be forgotten.........

You already know whats in our heart
all hv been written
all shall come to pass
everything will parish cept Your Face....................

Ameen Ya Rabbal Alamin.

1429....after the last twelve moon cycle

If an ant seeks the rank of Solomon,
don't smile contemptuously upon its quest.
Everything you possess of skill, and wealth and handicraft,
wasn't it first merely a thought and a quest? - Rumi

Happy new year ;)

.....may He give us strength to stay true in this path towards His face.....

dare to be closer.....

"I'm Malicca. She said. Her ear resembles a question mark. Somehow I knew that she will be a good friend and help me find the answers in my life." Dare to be closer. Rexona Teens. "never have i seen such eyes as beautiful as his. I noticed the pupils enlarging, the moment I reach out my hand. rite then i knew.... he likes me too."Dare to be closer. Rexona Teens.

Advertising Agency: Lowe Jakarta, Indonesia
Executive Creative Director: Din Sumedi

he aint heavy he's my brother......

just to share some works frm a talented man not known to many as he hides behind his canvas..... the goggle box in our living rooms,the newspaper that we read & the magazine that we browse tru.... a big name in small circle... ( pls click on the pic for better viewing)

Teaspoon of Dishes
"just one teaspoon of Sunlight"

What's for lunch? Hamster-muffin! Lowe Indonesia scares us into washing our hands more often, using Lifebuoy Handwash.



"Here's the kind of ambient that I like, it may look random but in Jakarta people bike or ride their mopeds a lot more than cars, which gives you red eyes, which in turn creates the perfect audience for the Visine message - rid red in 60 seconds - just hanging around the red lights with nothing better to do than look at the ad."- Adland commercial-archive.com


Advertising Agency: Lowe, Jakarta, Indonesia
Executive Creative Director: Din Sumedi

facination with red.....the italian connection

a red clot resides
now rides
as fast as it flows
within lanes

the caburator mixing
air n fuel combusting lady
gaining adrenaline rush
up to the brain

this monkey need no clutch
nomore
everythins runs on automatic
wish the heart is that easy to operate too....

it kills me that beautiful pomes hides between hard hittin riffs....

recent talk over the monolithic governing system rule by fear,braggart honor grad,value of land inheritance that shud be shared with all,social statistic -race equality,uninvited non english speaking need to fill the gap not so talented main land imports, on loneliness,on artist-concept-dignity-selfmasturbation-identity ,self reflection &
the slacker me..... brings this Manic song to mind....

FASTER

I hate purity
Hate goodness
I don't want virtue to exist anywhere
I want everyone corrupt

I am an architect, they call me a butcher
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
Holding you but I only miss these things when they leave

I am idiot drug hive, the virgin, the tattered and the torn
Life is for the cold made warm and they are just lizards
Self-disgust is self-obsession honey and I do as I please
A morality obedient, only to the cleansed repented

I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer
I spat out Plath and Pinter
I am all the things that you regret
A truth that washes that learned how to spell

The first time you see yourself naked you cry
Soft skin now acne, foul breath, so broken
He loves me truly this mute solitude I'm draining
I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing

Sleep can't hide the thoughts splitting through my mind
Shadows aren't clean, false mirrors too many people awake
If you stand up like a nail then you will be knocked down
I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else

I am stronger than Mensa, Miller and Mailer
I spat out Plath and Pinter
I am all the things that you regret
A truth that washes that learned how to spell..... learnt to spell

So damn easy to cave in, man kills everything

all at once.....

All at once,
the world can overwhelm me
There's almost nothin' that you could tell me
that could ease my mind

Which way will you run
when it's always all around you
and the feelin' lost and found you again
A feelin' that we have no control
Around a song
Some say
Theres gonna be the new hell
Some say
It's still too early to tell
Some say
It really ain't no myth at all

Keep askin' ourselves "Are we really
strong enough?"
There's so many things that we got too proud of
We're too proud of
We're too proud of

I wanna take the preconceived
out from underneath your feet
We could shake it off
instead we'll plant some seeds
We'll watch em' as they grow
and with each new beat
from your heart the roots grow deeper
the branches will they reach for what
Nobody really knows
But underneath it all
there's this heart all alone

What about is gone
and it really won't be so long
Sometimes it feels like a heart is no place to be singin' from at all

There's a world we've never seen
There's still hope between the dreams
The weight of it all
could blow away with a breeze
If you're waitin' on the wind
don't forget to breathe
cause as the darkness gets deeper
we'll be sinkin' so we reach for love
At least somethin' we could hold
But I'll reach to you from where time just can't go

What about is gone
and it really won't be so long
Sometimes it feels like a heart is no place to be singin' from at all

hope.....

Shadow walks faster than you
You don’t really know what to do
Do you think that you’re not alone?
You really think that you are immune to
Its gonna get that the best of you
Its gonna lift you up and let you down
It will defeat you then teach you to get back up
After it takes away all that
You learn to love

Your reflection is a blur
Out of focus
But in confusion
The frames are suddenly burnt
And in the end of a roll of illusion
A ghost waiting its turn
Now I see can right through
It’s a warning that nobody heard

It will teach you to love what you’re afraid of
After it takes away all that
You learn to love
But you don’t
Always
Have to hold to your head
Higher than your heart

You better hope you’re not alone

Your echo comes back out of tune
Now you can probably get used to
Reverb is just a room
The problem is that there’s no truth
It fading way too soon
The shadow is on the move
And maybe you should be moving too
Before it takes away all that you learned to love
It will defeat you and then teach you to get back up
Cause you don’t
Always
Have to hold your head
Higher than your heart